Letting Go

David Thiry on October 8, 2026

Nature Restores What Grief Touches

There is something about autumn that makes change impossible to ignore.

The light shifts. The air cools. Gardens begin to quiet. Leaves that only weeks ago offered shade begin their descent, and chrysanthemums appear on porches for the harvest season, offering one final burst of color before winter arrives. Nature seems to understand something we often struggle to accept, that letting go is part of living.

For those navigating grief, however, the words letting go can feel uncomfortable. Grief is not about letting go of someone we love or leaving behind what mattered. The love that we had for someone does not disappear simply because a life, relationship, role, or season has changed. Perhaps letting go in grief means something different.

In my grief work experience, it is about releasing the expectation that we should be “further along” in our bereavement. Perhaps it is about letting go of feelings of guilt, releasing roles that no longer fit, routines that have changed, or the pressure to return to the person we were before loss.

The reason? Cause grief changes us and every season of nature reminds us that change does not mean life has stopped.

The Wisdom of the Autumn Garden

This month’s flower, the chrysanthemum, seems especially fitting. Mums arrive just in time when the garden is beginning to fade. While summer flowers retreat, chrysanthemums bloom boldly, bringing color to a landscape already beginning its seasonal descent.

Yet for all their beauty, chrysanthemums can be surprisingly delicate. Their stems can break under the weight of their abundant blooms. Their roots grow quickly and become crowded within a pot, causing the plant to need water more frequently. And when that need is overlooked, a mum can wilt seemingly overnight. Perhaps there is wisdom in that, too.

We often admire what is blooming without noticing the care required to sustain it. During seasons of change, even something that appears strong and vibrant may need additional tending.

Grief can be much the same.

There are times when we may feel more fragile than we appear. Our reserves may be depleted more quickly. Something we once managed easily may suddenly require more energy. During these seasons, we may need more rest, more nourishment, more connection, or simply more attention to what our body and spirit are asking of us. The chrysanthemum reminds us that there can still be beauty in a season of descent and that what is blooming may also need tender care.

I would be remiss to not mention the essential oil this month, cypress. It offers another fascinating connection between nature and restoration. In The Nature Fix, Florence Williams explores South Korea’s use of forests as places of healing, including time spent among cypress trees. Trees release natural airborne compounds called phytoncides, many of which are terpenes. Research has found that exposure to these compounds, including those emitted by cypress, can increase the activity of our natural killer (NK) cells, an important part of the body’s immune system.

Think about that for a moment. Simply breathing the air among certain trees may create a measurable response within the human body.

Perhaps nature restores us in ways we can feel and in ways we cannot see. The cypress itself, an evergreen, has long been associated with transition, endurance, and remembrance. While the deciduous trees around it release their leaves, the cypress remains green.

Together, the chrysanthemum and cypress offer an interesting contrast: one blooms as the season ends; the other remains green as the landscape changes.

Perhaps grief asks something similar of us. There are things we may need to release, parts of ourselves that may need extra tending, and things we will continue to carry.

Nature Restores What Grief Touches

Grief can touch nearly every part of our lives: our energy, relationships, routines, identity, sense of security, and even how we imagine the future.

Nature cannot erase our grief or replace what has been lost. But spending time in the natural world can give us space to breathe, notice, remember, and slowly discover how to carry our experiences differently.

Autumn may teach this better than any other season. Nothing in nature asks autumn to become summer again. And perhaps we do not need to become who we were before grief either.

As you move through October, consider spending a few moments outside and noticing what nature is releasing and what remains. Nature restores what grief touches, not by returning us to who we once were, but by reminding us that even through change, release, and seasons of descent, life continues to find another way to grow.

Written by Lisa Story, MSCP, LPC, CT
Hope Grows Founder & Director

Where nature heals the heart.

October Focus: Letting Go

Essential Oil: Cypress

Flower: Chrysanthemum

At Hope Grows, we believe healing happens when we create space for both grief and growth. Through counseling, support groups, respite opportunities, and programs such as The Gathering Table, we invite caregivers and those grieving a loss to share their stories, find connection, and discover moments of restoration along the way. Call us at 412.369.4673 or email intake@hopegrows.org.

Disclaimer: This site offers information designed for educational purposes only. You should not rely on any information on this site as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, treatment, or as a substitute for professional counseling care, advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have any concerns or questions about your health, you should always consult with a physician or other healthcare professional.

Integration

Lisa Story on September 1, 2026

Gathering What We Have Learned

I write about nature often. I write about walking through the gardens, putting our hands in the soil, noticing the changing light, listening to the birds, and allowing the natural world to remind us to slow down. At Hope Grows, we have witnessed repeatedly how nature can become a place of respite, reflection, and healing.

But for some reason, this month has caused me to think differently about the very thing I so often describe as restorative: nature can also be unpredictable and powerful. Recent natural disasters remind us how quickly familiar landscapes—and lives—can change. As our clinical team continues its training in trauma and grief, I find myself thinking about those whose sense of safety has been altered in an instant.

Sometimes, nature doesn’t feel safe.

How do we reconcile that?  Perhaps that is part of what integration asks of us.

Integration isn’t pretending that everything fits neatly together. It isn’t finding the positive in every painful experience. Sometimes it means allowing two things to be true at once.

  • Nature can comfort us, and nature can frighten us.
  • We can trust, and we can ask questions.
  • We can be grateful for what nourishes us while becoming more thoughtful about where that nourishment comes from.

Even something as ordinary as buying a peach can remind us of this. Several times this summer, I brought home beautiful peaches. They looked nearly perfect on the outside. I waited for them to ripen, anticipating that wonderful first bite, only to cut them open and find them bruised, mushy, or simply not what I expected. It’s a small disappointment in a world carrying much larger ones. Yet it made me think about appearances, expectations, and trust.

How often do we assume that because something looks good on the outside, everything underneath must be okay? People do this, too. Families do it. Organizations and systems do it. Sometimes even our own lives do it.

Integration invites us to look beneath the surface. Not with fear, but with wisdom.

September’s flower, the aster, arrives as summer begins surrendering to fall. It blooms at a threshold, reminding us that beauty doesn’t belong to only one season of life. Our essential oil this month, cedarwood, carries an equally fitting symbolism: grounding, steadiness, and roots.

Maybe September isn’t asking us to escape the unsettling things happening around us. Maybe it is asking us to become more rooted while acknowledging them.

  • To gather the lessons.
  • To recognize what has changed us.
  • To question what deserves questioning.
  • To hold gratitude without using it to silence grief.

And to understand that being grounded does not mean being untouched by what is happening in the world.

For caregivers and those grieving a loss, this may be especially important. Life can change our understanding of what is safe, predictable, and trustworthy. A diagnosis, a death, a disaster, or an unexpected phone call can divide life into before and after. Integration is the slow work of bringing those pieces back into relationship with one another.

Not returning to who we were before. Not pretending the difficult parts didn’t happen. But gathering what we have learned and allowing it to become part of who we are becoming.

As the asters bloom and the season begins to turn, perhaps September offers us a different invitation from nature: Don’t ask me to always be gentle. Let me teach you how to be rooted.

Written by Lisa Story, MSCP, LPC, CT
Hope Grows Founder & Director

Where nature heals the heart.

Cedarwood graphic

September Focus: Integration

Essential Oil: Cedarwood

Flower: Aster

At Hope Grows, we believe healing happens when we create space for both grief and growth. Through counseling, support groups, respite opportunities, and programs such as The Gathering Table, we invite caregivers and those grieving a loss to share their stories, find connection, and discover moments of restoration along the way. Call us at 412.369.4673 or email intake@hopegrows.org.

Disclaimer: This site offers information designed for educational purposes only. You should not rely on any information on this site as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, treatment, or as a substitute for professional counseling care, advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have any concerns or questions about your health, you should always consult with a physician or other healthcare professional.

Resilience & Vitality

Lisa Story on July 7, 2026

Turning Toward the Light While Remaining Rooted

This July carries special significance as our nation celebrates 250 years of independence. Celebrations of fireworks and festivities inspired but so did reflection. I pondered a bit about the history of our country and in many ways, thought of resilience became the focus. Our history reflects people that navigated uncertainty, rebuilt after hardship, cared for one another through war, illness, economic struggle, and personal loss. Long before there were formal support services, there were family caregivers tending to aging parents, neighbors bringing meals, communities gathering around those who were grieving, and generations finding ways to move forward while carrying the memories of those they loved.

Today is no different. That same spirit continues. Every caregiver who rises before dawn to help a loved one begin another day demonstrates resilience. Every person navigating the unfamiliar landscape of grief while continuing to show up for family, work, or community embodies quiet vitality. These stories may never appear in history books, yet they form the foundation upon which families and ultimately communities are built.

Perhaps resilience is not simply about “being strong.” Maybe it is found in allowing ourselves to be human, in asking for help when we need it, resting without guilt, finding laughter in the heavy and accepting that healing rarely follows a straight path. Like the sunflower, resilience is less about standing unmoved through every storm and more about staying rooted enough to bend, recover, and continue reaching toward the light.

In much the same way, vitality may look different than we expect. It is not always found in endless energy or constant productivity. It can be found in the quiet moments that restore us, such as a meaningful conversation, time spent in nature, a nourishing meal, sharing a story, or finding room for joy even while carrying sorrow. These small moments of care gently remind us that we are still growing, still healing, and that our lives continue to offer hope to others.

At Hope Grows, we believe resilience is cultivated in relationships. Whether through counseling, support groups, the Gathering Table (Grief Soup gatherings, Caregiver2Caregiver mentoring, and the Legacy Project), or simply putting a head on a pillow at the Iris Respite House or walking through the healing gardens together, healing happens when people discover they do not have to carry life’s burdens alone. Every story shared strengthens not only the individual but the community around them.

As we commemorate 250 years of our nation’s journey, perhaps take the time to ponder a few things about what the 250th anniversary of our country invites us to consider. One of the greatest tributes we can offer is to continue caring for one another. Every family caregiver who sits beside a hospital bed, every neighbor who delivers a meal, every volunteer who offers a listening ear, and every person who walks alongside someone in grief strengthens the fabric of our community. Our country’s future will not be measured solely by its accomplishments, but by how faithfully we support those who are vulnerable, honor those who came before us, and invest in those who will come after us.

The Hope Grows legacy asks us to share just that.

Written by Lisa Story, MSCP, LPC, CT
Hope Grows Founder & Director

  • Essential Oil: Melaleuca (Tea Tree)
  • Flower: Sunflower

At Hope Grows, we believe healing happens when we create space for both grief and growth. Through counseling, support groups, respite opportunities, and programs such as The Gathering Table & Legacy Initiative – Grief Soup, we invite caregivers and those grieving a loss to share their stories, find connection, and discover moments of restoration along the way. Call us at 412.369.4673 or email intake@hopegrows.org.

Disclaimer: This site offers information designed for educational purposes only. You should not rely on any information on this site as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, treatment, or as a substitute for professional counseling care, advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have any concerns or questions about your health, you should always consult with a physician or other healthcare professional.

Category: Emotions and Coping, Grieving, Mindfulness and Understanding, Self Care

Tag: coping with loss, grief, loss

Tender Growth

Lisa Story on April 15, 2026

The Misunderstood Language of Care

“Rest, Relax, & Restore!” and “Take care of yourself.”  Words Hope Grows has uttered over the course of their mission. Words that are often offered with the best of intentions. And yet, for caregivers and those grieving, they can feel hollow—even frustrating.

At Hope Grows, we understand the difficulty, we know that your world has shifted, rest is not always restorative. Stillness can feel loud. And balance is not something you find—it is something you practice, moment by moment. Emotional regulation, too, becomes an ongoing act of patience. Not perfection. Not control. But gentle returning.

April arrives with a quiet insistence. Like the slow unfurling of a petal. Again, and again. Like breath. Not the bold certainty of summer, nor the deep stillness of winter—but something far more delicate. A season of becoming. A season of tender growth.

Fragile Beginnings

There is a moment—often quiet, often unnoticed—when caregiving begins. It may not feel like a beginning at all. It may feel like an interruption, a disruption, or an overwhelming shift. But beneath it, something new has taken root.

Tender. Uncertain. Fragile.

The same is true in grief. When we lose someone we love, the world does not simply pause—it changes. And in that change, we find ourselves at the beginning of something we never asked for. A new way of being. A new landscape to navigate.

Like April soil, recently stirred, we are not yet steady. We are not yet strong. We are simply… beginning.

A Lesson from the Garden

This week, I planted lettuce and herbs—my first planting of the season. It felt hopeful. A small act of trust in what is to come. And yet, as April reminds us, hope requires attention. Freezing temperatures are in the forecast. Which means I must remain vigilant—watching the weather, covering the plants, protecting them from forces beyond their control. 

And as I tend to them, I am reminded of what it means to care for something in its early stages. This is what it means to honor fragility. Not by forcing growth, but by protecting it.

In nature, this tenderness is easy to see. The soft emergence of tulips, their petals still learning how to open. The tulips, bright yet vulnerable, bending with each passing wind. The earth, recently thawed, offering just enough warmth to invite new life forward—but not without risk.

This is not a season of full bloom. This is a season of fragile beginnings. And so, it is for caregivers. And so, it is for those who are grieving.

Protecting Your Tender Growth

Shielding, protecting, defending. There are seasons in life where we, too, require this kind of care. Where nourishment is disrupted. Where energy is depleted. Where even the idea of reaching out for community feels distant—misaligned with what our soul is quietly asking for.

Confusing?? For sure!! This concept is unclear because we are told that connection is healing. And it is. But there are moments when what we need first is not outward connection—but inward protection. A covering, a boundary, a gentle tending to our own internal climate.

Like placing a cloth over young plants to shield them from frost, we are allowed to create spaces of safety for ourselves.

This may look like:

  • Saying no without explanation
  • Stepping away from noise or expectation
  • Choosing rest in a way that feels right, not prescribed
  • Allowing emotions to come and go without urgency to “fix” them

This is not withdrawal. This is wisdom.

The Symbolism of April: Tulip & Geranium

It would not be me if I didn’t bring in some symbolism with this month’s flower and essential oil pick. The tulip, April’s flower, carries the essence of gentle emergence. It does not rush its bloom. It responds to its environment—opening when conditions allow, closing when they do not. There is much to learn from the rhythm of nature. There is some level of permission with this flower. There is permission to open slowly, permission to close when needed, and permission to honor your own timing.

Geranium, April’s essential oil, speaks to emotional balance—not as a fixed state, but as a living rhythm. It reminds us that steadiness is not the absence of feeling, but the ability to move with our emotions rather than against them. In part, the reason we put Geranium essential oil in our Signature Blend that we sell here at Hope Grows. Together, they offer a quiet message of not having to be fully open to grow and not having to feel balanced to find your way.

Continue through April with a Gentle Reflection

April is not asking you to bloom.

It is asking you to tend.

Written by Lisa Story, MSCP, LPC, CT
Hope Grows Founder & Director

At Hope Grows, we support those grieving a loss. If you are struggling, reach out to connect. Call us at 412.369.4673 or email intake@hopegrows.org.

Written by Lisa Story, MSCP, LPC, CT
Founder of Hope Grows

Focus of the Month: Tender Growth
Essential Oil: Geranium
Flower: Tulip

Disclaimer: This site offers information designed for educational purposes only. You should not rely on any information on this site as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, treatment, or as a substitute for professional counseling care, advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have any concerns or questions about your health, you should always consult with a physician or other healthcare professional.

Delight

Lisa Story on May 5, 2025

Every part of the spring season can be a delightful scene dancing in front of us. The new growth is there for the taking, everywhere, watching the results of the softened earth from the melting snow and spring rains. The season beckons a positive emotional response, but when sadness or grief is present, finding the space to bloom can feel like the remaining late frost of the winter, stunting any sign of delight.

Our focus for the month is delight. Delight is defined as “a high degree of pleasure, satisfaction, or joy.” Pleasure or joy when caring for a child with a terminal illness or a medically complex condition can feel like the remaining chilly winter air rushing in from time to time. Finding any delight with this much heaviness are unwanted and unpleasant feelings that intertwine with every moment of care given. The idea of delight may feel distant, even impossible, when exhaustion, sorrow, and worry take up so much space.

While I may not know or understand your pain, I can find lessons in nature that may help. The beauty of spring can resemble grand delight, especially after the baren winter season. The flowering magnolia, the pink of the quince flowers, and the white blossoms of the cherry trees at Hope Grows feel welcoming. However, when we focus on any delight in this space of grief and sadness, it may feel a bit too grand, so we push it aside and continue with the heaviness, feeling cheated out of any delight it can bring.

Where can we nourish and savor moments of delight? At Hope Grows, we have been blessed to be a part of many caregiver stories, sometimes receiving more than we give. In addition to providing support, we engage in the message of the mission, inspiring hope through nature while empowering wellness of mind, body, and spirit. The nature part of the mission teaches about the reciprocal benefits: while nature gives, we receive. This is where true connection, not just in nature, but in our relationships with our care receivers occur. We must be open to not just the giving of care, but the receiving of it as well.

Gardening in spring is challenging. As we pay attention to the changing weather, we find a need to protect the new growth and the blossoms as best we can. We may consider covering the flowering trees as best we can when the night air may be too cold. Our instinct is to protect. I remember a few years ago covering the viburnum tree in the Garden of Hope during a cold snap. The effort and the time it took helped a little to protect the blossoms, but in the end, the decision moving forward was “not to bother again” and let nature takes its course. The message here is that we tried and we can look at our own well-being in this way. Now tending to our own self-care is a bit different than covering a small tree; however, the difficulty of finding the time, protecting, and placing value is real. Cultivating wellness of self may feel like a grand plan that defeats us before we begin, but the key here is to start small.

Spring is so special, and so are you. As the season pulls us out of the deepness of winter, we begin to find small moments of new growth finding the sun and protecting itself during fragile moments. We too can find space in the heaviness of caring for a child with a terminal illness or medically complex condition. One caregiver comes to mind, standing out as someone who looks at the cold rush of winter’s air, and instead of hindering any delight, experiences delightful moments in small ways. Noticing how her child’s eyes light up from a familiar voice, the comfort received from a shared touch, and the quiet presence of love that exists beyond words. I find the spirituality and faith of this caregiver worthy of delight. She was able to engage little by little with Hope Grows services and then eventually an overnight stay at the Iris Respite House. She found quiet space where beauty, love, and presence exist, despite the rush of chilly air in her changing climate.

In this experience, I believe the message for delight is to capture the good, not the bad. Moments of grace do not remove the sorrow, but they offer a breath within it. Try to find grace in the way your child’s hand feels in yours, in the rhythm of their breathing as they rest, in the way light filters through the window onto their face. Or it might be in the kindness of a nurse who truly sees you, in a deep inhale of fresh air when you step outside, in the way a favorite scent or texture momentarily eases the tension in your body. Another small moment is allowing yourself time to breath, leaning into support, or acknowledging the depth of what you carry.

Capturing the good does not mean pretending the bad is not there. It means allowing the small, good moments to matter—to be noticed, to be felt, even if just for a few seconds. Maybe write them down in a notebook, whisper them in gratitude before bed, or simply let yourself linger in them when they happen. Just as in nature, capture the spring blossoms in small moments of delight. While the chilly air is real, I suggest choosing to notice the beauty in front of you. As fleeting as it might be, “nature is one place we can surrender all control.”

Tending to your own well-being in this space might look different than it does for others. It is not about forcing joy but recognizing that even in sorrow, there can be moments of grace. Those moments, however small, can feel like life is whispering to you. Start with “just 10 minutes” at a time – such an honest, raw way to frame pleasant moments – because when life is this heavy, sometimes that is all you can hold, “just 10 minutes.” Grace makes room for delight—not as something forced or artificial, but as something quiet and real.

Connect in the delight of the reciprocal relationship!

Written by Lisa Story, MSCP, LPC, CT
Founder & Clinical Director

Tranquility

Lisa Story on April 2, 2025

Confidence in bloom is the vibe in the Healing Gardens of the Iris Respite House. The vibrant yellow of the daffodil flowers catch my attention as I contemplate how much I struggle this time of year with the transition between winter and spring. Just the other day, I had a burst of energy from the lingering of winter when a bit of snow flurries hovered over us. Opposite of what springing forth is about, I know, but the lightly falling snow, as it may, left me intrigued. It was definitely competing with the new growth of the changing season and that was exactly what my soul was doing.

The unrest of the soul is somewhat frustrating, as the weather flip flops during this time of year, wanting to stay a bit recluse still, but the change of season tells me a different story. I woke to a soft rain today as I began to write this blog. The temperature was a bit warmer than my body can handle. I am sure it is from the collide of the warmer temps with the rain, creating humidity. I’m not a fan of humidity, probably why I like Arizona so much. Humidity seems to drain my energy, but none the less, I persevered. I focused back to the sound and sight of outside, listening to the harmonious birdsong from the open window. The birds gave an uncaring impression regarding the unrest of my soul.

Spring is a beautiful example of nature’s resilience. The plants continue to be in full harmony with the season of equinox, bursting with hidden beauty from the dormancy of winter’s cold. Dormancy, a time of rest and conservation, ensuring the plant has the strength to flourish again, winter is akin to the concept of restoration that I value. My soul does what the month of April represents, a combination of tranquility and vibrant energy.

On the surface, the gardens feel calm, with gentle rain, soft blossoms, and the tender green of emerging leaves. Yet, beneath the calmness is a tremendous surge of life. Its almost as if one can feel the earth moving below, with this tug and pull of transition echoing my human experience. After the winter’s period of stillness and reflection, there is often an instinctual push to grow and reach. But growth doesn’t always feel graceful – it can be chaotic, raw, and powerful. The plants, though, seem to embrace this contradiction, thriving in both the calm and the intensity.

It makes perfect sense, winter’s stillness; it can feel like a sanctuary. Offering a kind of peace that’s hard to let go of when the change of season begins to rush forward again. The contrast between my inner rhythm and the outward surge of spring creates a desire to stay hidden, to linger in the restorative embrace of winter.

That feeling is deeply valid and if you recognize a similarity, you just might find comfort in seeking small ways to extend the sense of winter’s calm, even as nature’s landscape bursts around you. Try mindful moments in shaded spaces, connecting with the lingering coolness of early mornings, or simply honoring the slower pace your body craves. I have been finding peace and tranquility with the sounds that April brings in the mornings. The birds and the early morning chill in the air creates a special, calming atmosphere for me. When everything feels still, there is a unique kind of tranquility. As I retreat to nature in the morning, I’m surrounded by the calm, activating my senses and inviting a bit of serenity.

A little help from nature can promote calm; however, true tranquility comes from a deep sense of inner stability—one that isn’t dependent on external circumstances but is cultivated through presence, acceptance, and connection. For a caregiver, this might mean acknowledging the weight of responsibility while also allowing moments of stillness, no matter how brief, to replenish the spirit. It comes from embracing the ebb and flow of life rather than resisting it, finding meaning in both the challenges and the quiet spaces in between.

Spiritual connection can indeed foster peace. At least, that is what nature does for me; it speaks to my soul. Tranquility is often rooted in surrender—letting go of what cannot be controlled, breathing deeply into the moment, and finding solace in simple things, like the warmth of sunlight, the rhythm of breath, or the quiet companionship of nature, especially during moments of resistance.

You may also want to consider where you are placing the control. Is it external or internal? In reference to psychology terms, we can either have an External or Internal Locus of Control. It is about recognizing the balance between what you can influence and what is beyond your control. Each plays a role in shaping resilience. In caregiving, where the emotional and physical demands can be overwhelming, fostering an Internal Locus of Control is about empowerment and ownership. An Internal Locus of Control means believing that your actions, choices, and mindset shape your experience. It cultivates a sense of agency even in difficult circumstances.

Use this time of year, the confidence in bloom, to foster tranquility. If you are feeling a bit unsettled, like I am right now, remember that letting go is a practice, not a destination—one that is nurtured through appreciation, reflection, and compassionate care for both others and oneself. It is the reciprocal relationship that occurs between self and nature.

Happy Spring!

Lisa Story, MSCP, LPC, CT
Founder & Clinical Director