Belonging
The Cost of Love (and the Gift of Belonging)
There is something almost unbelievable about rose oil. It takes approximately 252,000 individual petals—about 8,000 roses—to produce a single 5ml bottle. Forty-two pounds of petals, gathered, distilled, transformed… into something so small, so potent, so precious. Holy roses!
And perhaps that is where we begin this month.
Because caregivers understand cost. Not in petals—but in moments. In sleep lost. In meals skipped. In parts of themselves quietly set aside. Love, in caregiving, often becomes synonymous with giving. With doing. With enduring. But what if belonging asks something different from us?
A Different Kind of Love
Lily of the Valley blooms softly, almost hidden. It does not demand attention. It does not compete for space. It simply exists—sweet, quiet, present. Its fragrance is not overwhelming. You must come close to notice it. There is no striving in it. No performance. Just presence.
And this is where we gently challenge a thought that many of us have come to believe. That love must be proven through depletion. That connection must be earned through sacrifice. That belonging is something you give, not something you receive.
There is a sweetness that can come without demand. At Hope Grows, we often speak about rest, restoration, and care, I mentioned this in last month’s Tender Growth blog. I know those words can feel hollow when your world has shifted. So, let’s not start there. Instead, let’s ask a different question. Can you allow love to exist, without needing to prove it? Not the love you give, but the love that might be offered to you. Because belonging is not built through effort alone. It is cultivated through allowing.
Hope Grows and the Root of Good Care Counseling practice strives to nurture the process of sitting with someone’s pain, and allow the emotion without judgment.
By allowing someone to sit with you without fixing, allowing a meal to be shared without obligation, and allowing your story to be heard without needing to shape it into something acceptable is one of the hardest things to do but worth trying.
The Gathering Table: Where Belonging Is Practiced
This “allowing” is the quiet heartbeat of the Gathering Table & Legacy Initiative. Not a program you attend, but a space you enter. A table where nourishment is offered—not just in food, but in presence. Where stories are shared—not for outcome, but for connection. Where mentorship is not about guidance alone, but about walking beside. There is something sacred that happens when people gather without expectation.
When the question is not, “What do you need to do?” but rather, “Can you simply be here?” Many ways, it mirrors the rose. Thousands of unseen moments that come together to create something deeply meaningful. Not because of what each petal does individually…but because of what they become together.
A Gentle Disruption
So here is the invitation—and perhaps the disruption—for May. What if you stopped measuring your love by how much it costs you? What if belonging was not something you had to earn and what if sweetness—real, sustaining sweetness—did not come from pushing through… but from softening into connection? This may feel unfamiliar, even uncomfortable, but so does standing still in a season that is asking you to grow in a different direction.
The rose reminds us that something precious can come from many small parts.
The Lily of the Valley reminds us that presence does not need to be loud to be meaningful.
And nature, as always, offers us a quiet truth where nothing blooms alone. Not the rose, not the lily, and not you. It is about being rooted and connected.
Reflection
As you move through May with the focus of belonging, consider where in your life you are trying to earn belonging? And then what might shift if you allow yourself to simply receive it?
Written by Lisa Story, MSCP, LPC, CT
Founder of Hope Grows
At Hope Grows, we support those with multiple issues, including caregiving and grieving a loss. If you are struggling, reach out to connect. Call us at 412.369.4673 or email [email protected].
Focus of the Month: Belonging
Essential Oil: Rose
Flower: Lilly of the Valley
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