Steadiness

Amy Oledzki on September 4, 2024

I woke this morning and the temperatures were cooler and the sky clear and blue, almost an azure blue. There is a lot of historical significance, biological function, cultural and religious significance and symbolism of this color. Biologically, the true color of Azure is rare in living organisms – perhaps a bluebird or blue butterfly?

I was surprised to learn that blue jays are not actually blue and that their blue hue is the result of Rayleigh scattering. Without turning this blog into a science lesson on color, I was fascinated by what I was reading, but then really disappointed to learn about Rayleigh scattering. It not only is a phenomenon that happens with the sky being Azure blue, but is a result of pigment, protein, wavelengths, and refraction.

None the less, the feeling that this Azure blue sky brings remains the same for me, a sense of peace and calm, as well as nostalgia, the one thing that we all seem to strive for in this crazy mixed-up world we live in. I think about the predictability of this phenomenon and the consistent steadiness with which nature provides.

The heat and little rain this summer has also been steady. A lot of water from the spigot has been used this summer, keeping the plants alive. The water bill sure did confirm how much…ouch! The rise of food, gas, and energy has been steady as well. I ask myself, what is going on and how can our nation’s financial security change in such a few short years?

Putting the azure sky and the rise of the cost of living aside, what does steadiness truly mean for caregivers and the Hope Grows Care Model? From a definition standpoint, steadiness is defined in different ways and it depends on the dictionary source you are using as a resource. The Cambridge organization defines steadiness from a behavioral standpoint as “being reasonable and showing good judgment,” so that people trust you. The Merriam-Webster site defined steadiness as “the state of continuing without change.” And one more (as I like to describe things in three for some reason), the Oxford site defined the word as “the quality of being sensible and reliable and the fact of being stable and not changing.”

When I think of caregiving with this month’s focus, I think of the steadiness of the care receiver and how often a caregiver might be watching how quickly the physical stability of their loved one’s gait, balance when they stand, or, in some cases, their ability to be behind the wheel of the car changes. Caregiver concerns about steadiness and when is it appropriate or even permissible to override their loved one’s decisions regarding safety and medical CURE and care.

From the caregivers’ point of view, sensibility and reliability of putting safety first is a decision that needs steadiness. However, concern and fear creep in…knowing that overruling their loved one by taking the keys to the car is going to upset the apple cart, so to speak. From the care receiver’s standpoint, the steadiness of knowing what is reasonable and showing good judgment is not being met with trust. In this case, the steadiness seems to be at odds with the dynamic and sometimes chaotic nature of caregiving.

Caregivers need to remain strong and steadfast because it can serve as a stabilizing force. Remaining steadfast allows caregivers to remain calm in the face of challenges, balanced in their responses to the needs of others, and grounded in their own self-care practices. This steady approach helps to create a nurturing environment, both for the caregiver and the one receiving care. It also fosters a sense of peace and resilience, enabling caregivers to find joy even in difficult moments.

Some things to consider to remain steady: cultivate mindfulness, set clear goals and priorities, establish routines, manage stress effectively, embrace flexibility and adaptability, practice self-compassion, stay connected with your values, build a support system, continue to learn and grow, and take care of your well-being.

Wow! That is a lot. Just know that by embracing some of this, you can prevent burnout and continue to provide compassionate care with a joyful heart. Those tough decisions of taking away the keys is about setting boundaries of safety. Being sensible and steady, in this case, is NOT negotiable. Just like the Rayleigh’s scattering, at first the explanation of it all seems mean, disappointing, and, well, feeling like we are being tricked. I’m sure your loved one feels this way too, but in the end, peace, calm, and eventually joy can be the result.

So, let the phenomenon of the BLUE in nature be a reminder that caring for others doesn’t mean losing sight of one’s own balance and well-being—it means integrating these qualities to sustain both joy and the capacity to care.

Written by Lisa Story, MSCP, LPC, CT
Hope Grows Founder & Clinical Director

Energy

Amy Oledzki on July 2, 2024

I spent a bit of mindful energy this morning looking around at the beauty of the gardens here at the Iris Respite House & Healing Gardens. Some rain storms have left us with fuel for growth; the flowers everywhere are bursting with fullness and color. It is as if the flowers got a shot of caffeine overnight; there is a liveliness, a get up and go, an energy.

Energy is an interesting word. We can have all sorts of it and moments of none, so it seems. The word itself projects an oomph to it and when you pay attention to its use, it is everywhere. Statements abound: youthful energy, stagnant energy, quantitative energy, comparative energy, and departments of energy, to name a few. I hear people say, “I have no energy,” “I need an energy drink,” “I have positive energy,” or “He/She has negative energy.” Famous people and scholars tell us that energy of the mind is the essence of life, there is energy in motion, energy flows where attention goes, and energy is contagious: either you affect people or you infect people.

Warren Buffett was quoted saying that “Without passion, you don’t have energy. Without energy, you have nothing.” I suppose that is true, because it takes passion on some days to get out of bed, to brush your teeth, and to eat breakfast. Does passion need to exist to move forward with activities of daily living? I don’t think so – some of those are habitual things we do. However, if we have lost passion in life or are burned out, I know firsthand, it is hard to keep moving forward.

So many questions surface. Most of us have to engage in some type of caffeinated drink to fuel ourselves in the morning. But what about those that exert too much energy all the time? Can it deplete the desire to stay motivated? Can passion move quickly away and cause someone to become stagnant. Can pain and suffering discourage a person to the point of NO energy?

If you look at the opposite meaning of the word, that meaning depends on how you are using it. The English language is complicated, and if you are referring to the energy as a generated power, simplified, the opposite is a lack of. From a person’s spirit and vigor, the opposite could be apathy, depression, and/or spiritual distress. I think of caregivers when I think of the person’s spirit in relation to energy. Caregivers put forth so much energy all of the time in providing care to their loved one, but yet, they keep moving, they keep pushing through, sometimes to the point of complete burnout.

So, what is the antidote? Just like a power grid, a car, or the flowers in the garden, restoration is needed. Dealing with life overload and the stress of long work hours without breaks can indeed lead to burnout and a decline in spiritual, mental, and physical health. Finding ways to manage stress and maintain sanity is crucial. Energy, caregiving, and healing are interconnected concepts that revolve around the well-being of individuals. In the context of well-being, energy can refer to both physical vitality and the more abstract notion of life force or spiritual energy.

The notion of Spiritual Energy is what I think Warren Buffett is referring to in his quote above. Passion, purpose, and meaning are often described as what is needed to have spiritual energy. It is the “chi,” “prana,” or “life force” that keeps the flow of energy through and around the body, impacting overall wellness.

If your life force energy is depleted, or you are just exhausted and need to restore, several strategies can help you escape from the relentless cycle and regain balance. Healing encompasses the processes through which a person recovers from illness, injury, or emotional distress. It can be approached from various angles:

Medical Healing: Involves conventional medical treatments and therapies to address physical health issues.

Emotional Healing: Focuses on recovering from emotional trauma, stress, and mental health challenges.

Spiritual Healing: Utilizes practices such as meditation, prayer, energy work (like Reiki), and other holistic methods to restore a sense of balance and well-being.

Because energy, caregiving, and healing are interconnected concepts, implementing a balanced approach is important. Regularly evaluate your work-life balance and adjust your strategies as needed to maintain your well-being. Remember, it’s crucial to prioritize self-care and seek help when needed to sustain long-term health and happiness. Join us through our Simple Suggestions and sign up for our Think Caregiver emails today! Email intake@hopegrows.org to get on the list.

Written by Lisa Story, MSCP, LPC, CT
Hope Grows Founder & Clinical Director

Temptation

Lisa Story on September 6, 2023

The focus for the month of August is Temptation. The focus was chosen due to the apple trees bearing fruit at this time of year, with harvest soon to follow. Autumn season is fast approaching at the Iris Respite House & Healing Gardens, as the squirrels begin to gnaw at the hickory nuts in the tree next to the Hope Grows administrative offices on the property.

What do apples have to do with temptation? Well, for starters, the Victorian era of representation tells us that the apple tree symbolizes temptation. From some religious accounts and beliefs, temptation is heavily rooted in the Old Testament story of Adam and Eve, whereby the devil enticed Adam and Eve to eat the forbidden fruit from the Tree of Knowledge.

According to the story of the golden apples in the Garden of Hesperides, the unnamed fruit became the apple. From then on, it became a symbol for knowledge, immortality, temptation, and the fall of man and sin.

Is it not, though, that temptation refers to the desire or inclination to do something that is often seen as wrong, forbidden, or detrimental? It’s a psychological and emotional state where individuals are drawn to actions that might provide immediate pleasure or gratification but can have negative consequences in the long run. Temptation can be linked to various aspects of human behavior, such as personal ethics, self-control, and decision-making.

How does this interconnect with caregiving? We all know that individuals providing care to others contributes to the breakdown of our overall health. There is proven research with this, and the many caregivers for whom Hope Grows provides support share with us that they are struggling with overall wellness. The role of a caregiver is emotionally, physically, and mentally demanding, which, in turn, can lead some to various forms of temptation that can impact their overall health.

The suggestions below have been introduced as things to be mindful about. I am hoping you will consider these as encouragement to pay attention and not ignore, as taking heed can avoid temptations.

Stress and Coping: Caregiving can be stressful due to the constant responsibilities, long hours, and the emotional toll of witnessing a loved one’s or patient’s suffering. In times of high stress, caregivers might be tempted to engage in unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as overeating, smoking, or excessive alcohol consumption, which can negatively affect their health.

Self-Care Neglect: Caregivers often prioritize the needs of those they care for, neglecting their own well-being in the process. This temptation to put others first and neglect self-care can lead to burnout, fatigue, and declining physical health.

Lack of Time: Caregivers may struggle to find time for their own needs and activities. This lack of time might lead to temptation for unhealthy habits, like skipping meals, not getting enough exercise, or not getting enough sleep, all of which can adversely impact their health.

Emotional Strain: Witnessing the suffering or gradual decline of a loved one can be emotionally challenging. Caregivers might be tempted to suppress their emotions or avoid seeking support, leading to mental health issues like depression or anxiety.

Financial Stress: Caregiving can also lead to financial strain, especially if it affects the caregiver’s ability to work or requires additional expenses for medical care. Financial pressures can lead to temptation for risky financial decisions or unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Social Isolation: Caregivers may become socially isolated as their caregiving duties consume most of their time and energy. This isolation can lead to feelings of loneliness and further temptations for unhealthy behaviors as they lack support and social interactions.

Guilt: Caregivers may feel guilty about taking time for themselves or seeking help from others. This guilt can create temptation to avoid self-care and focus solely on the care receiver, which can have detrimental effects on their health.

It is essential for caregivers to recognize the challenges they face and prioritize their own well-being. Seeking support from friends, family, or support groups can help alleviate some of the emotional burden. Establishing a routine that includes time for self-care, exercise, and relaxation is crucial for maintaining good health. Additionally, seeking professional help, such as counseling or therapy, can be beneficial in managing stress and emotions.

Overall, being aware of the temptations and challenges, and taking proactive steps to address them, is vital for maintaining caregiver health. Consider Hope Grows for your caregiver support. Call us at 412-369-HOPE (4673) extension 101, email intake@hopegrows.org, or fill out the Caregiver Sign-Up Form here on our website.