Letting Go
Nature Restores What Grief Touches
There is something about autumn that makes change impossible to ignore.
The light shifts. The air cools. Gardens begin to quiet. Leaves that only weeks ago offered shade begin their descent, and chrysanthemums appear on porches for the harvest season, offering one final burst of color before winter arrives. Nature seems to understand something we often struggle to accept, that letting go is part of living.
For those navigating grief, however, the words letting go can feel uncomfortable. Grief is not about letting go of someone we love or leaving behind what mattered. The love that we had for someone does not disappear simply because a life, relationship, role, or season has changed. Perhaps letting go in grief means something different.
In my grief work experience, it is about releasing the expectation that we should be “further along” in our bereavement. Perhaps it is about letting go of feelings of guilt, releasing roles that no longer fit, routines that have changed, or the pressure to return to the person we were before loss.
The reason? Cause grief changes us and every season of nature reminds us that change does not mean life has stopped.
The Wisdom of the Autumn Garden
This month’s flower, the chrysanthemum, seems especially fitting. Mums arrive just in time when the garden is beginning to fade. While summer flowers retreat, chrysanthemums bloom boldly, bringing color to a landscape already beginning its seasonal descent.
Yet for all their beauty, chrysanthemums can be surprisingly delicate. Their stems can break under the weight of their abundant blooms. Their roots grow quickly and become crowded within a pot, causing the plant to need water more frequently. And when that need is overlooked, a mum can wilt seemingly overnight. Perhaps there is wisdom in that, too.
We often admire what is blooming without noticing the care required to sustain it. During seasons of change, even something that appears strong and vibrant may need additional tending.
Grief can be much the same.
There are times when we may feel more fragile than we appear. Our reserves may be depleted more quickly. Something we once managed easily may suddenly require more energy. During these seasons, we may need more rest, more nourishment, more connection, or simply more attention to what our body and spirit are asking of us. The chrysanthemum reminds us that there can still be beauty in a season of descent and that what is blooming may also need tender care.
I would be remiss to not mention the essential oil this month, cypress. It offers another fascinating connection between nature and restoration. In The Nature Fix, Florence Williams explores South Korea’s use of forests as places of healing, including time spent among cypress trees. Trees release natural airborne compounds called phytoncides, many of which are terpenes. Research has found that exposure to these compounds, including those emitted by cypress, can increase the activity of our natural killer (NK) cells, an important part of the body’s immune system.
Think about that for a moment. Simply breathing the air among certain trees may create a measurable response within the human body.
Perhaps nature restores us in ways we can feel and in ways we cannot see. The cypress itself, an evergreen, has long been associated with transition, endurance, and remembrance. While the deciduous trees around it release their leaves, the cypress remains green.
Together, the chrysanthemum and cypress offer an interesting contrast: one blooms as the season ends; the other remains green as the landscape changes.
Perhaps grief asks something similar of us. There are things we may need to release, parts of ourselves that may need extra tending, and things we will continue to carry.
Nature Restores What Grief Touches
Grief can touch nearly every part of our lives: our energy, relationships, routines, identity, sense of security, and even how we imagine the future.
Nature cannot erase our grief or replace what has been lost. But spending time in the natural world can give us space to breathe, notice, remember, and slowly discover how to carry our experiences differently.
Autumn may teach this better than any other season. Nothing in nature asks autumn to become summer again. And perhaps we do not need to become who we were before grief either.
As you move through October, consider spending a few moments outside and noticing what nature is releasing and what remains. Nature restores what grief touches, not by returning us to who we once were, but by reminding us that even through change, release, and seasons of descent, life continues to find another way to grow.
Written by Lisa Story, MSCP, LPC, CT
Hope Grows Founder & Director
Where nature heals the heart.
October Focus: Letting Go
Essential Oil: Cypress
Flower: Chrysanthemum
At Hope Grows, we believe healing happens when we create space for both grief and growth. Through counseling, support groups, respite opportunities, and programs such as The Gathering Table, we invite caregivers and those grieving a loss to share their stories, find connection, and discover moments of restoration along the way. Call us at 412.369.4673 or email intake@hopegrows.org.
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